Commentary ~ A Mother’s Advice to Her Daughter prior to Marriage

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

Harith bin ‘Amr, the king of Kindah, proposed to marry the daughter of ‘Auf bin Muhillim. Her mother said to her the following words on the day that she was to be taken to her husband:

“My daughter, if advice were to be left off to those of virtue, I would have abstained from advising you, but good advice is a reminder to the heedless and a helper to the wise. If a woman didn’t need a husband because of the richness of her parents and because of their great need for her, then you would have been the richest of people in that regard; however, women were created for men and men were created for women.

My daughter, you are indeed leaving this house that you have been raised in, leaving to go to a man that you do not know and to a partner that you are not used to. Be a slave to him and he will become your slave, and preserve for him 10 qualities:

1,2) Be sincere toward him by being always satisfied with your condition, and be obedient to him.

3,4) Be careful about his eyes and his nose: do not let him see you in a bad state and do not let him smell from you any odor except the most fragrant odors.

5,6) Look after the time of his sleep and the time of his meals, for the continued state of hunger makes one weak and restless sleep leads to anger.

7,8) Protect his wealth and look after his family – the key to wealth is good estimation, and the key to the family is good planning.

9,10) Never disobey his command and never spread his secrets – the former embitters his heart and the latter will make you unsafe from his betrayal.”

Gems and Jewels
Compiled by: Abdul-Malik Mujahid
Publisher: Maktaba Dar-us-Salam
ISBN: 9960-897-59-1
Page 192